1st love...

.

All my frnds know that cricket was my 1st love..well thats not entirely true...
well she was a sweet sweet little girl...didnt know d name..not that i have 4go10... didnt know simply..

it was the beautiful city of Shillong...decades back..some.. 1.7 decades i guess...
i was studying...n like all students wud have felt real good 2 have been in a co-educational.{.as they call it.}.school..
I was in St.Peters BOYS high school..one of the best in Shillong...but..alas...
yeah now abut how..
she was my hindi teacher..... excuse me but i presume u no thinkin that She was the 1...na na..she was mummy to her..
hmm now then...this sweet girl used to study in St Marys school...which ..bhagwaan ki daya se was on the way to my school..gr8 parents i had...ghar ekdum sahi jagah pe...they took.. ;)
1 day this ma'am..hindi teacher...decided to come along with me n my mom to get her daughter..frm school..
btw..n shillong thr were not many hindi speakin ppl then..so we became frnds soon..

we != me n her.. ..we = mom n ma'am
:-p poor me then..

haan ...so i was sayin..she came along... n her daughter..standing at the school gates...
i was yorked... {cricketin term..meanin completely shamelessly pathetically clean bowled...} n i was....Pehla nashaaa pehla....

life looked so beautiful...
it aftr all was worth living...was i in jannat..was she a hoor??
what punya had last janma me i did,..to be here...

Clue number one was when you knocked on my door
Clue number two was the look that you wore
N thats when I knew, it was a pretty good sign
That something was wrong up on cloud number nine

or was it...

me...
(Pyaar hua, ikraar hua hai
Pyaar se phir kyoon darrta hai dil) 

she...
(Kehta hai dil rasta mushkil
Maaloom nahin hai kahan manzil) 

aaaahhh..whr was i....
n then...then we parted ways.... :( :'( yeah thats a tear rollin down...some young girl can still catch it..n i wud b really grateful... ;)
that was tough...stil remember it...ok dont ..but must have been real tough..think of it...
my innocent heart...stabbed...was 7..or 8 i guess then..
all d same...
i went home with mummy..n she with hers....
i cud c our love in her eyes also... i believe i did... now u dont need to raise an eyebrow...
ok i thot so..may b nothin was thr...
optimism is a good thing..may b the best of things... some gr8 person said that... ok hope it was..not optimism...
but both equally fit well here.. :)

hope it was then..with a few grains of optimism..

well that was all.... never saw her agn though...
wrkd real hard in hindi...got max marks.. no didnt get a 100 / 100..got the most in the class...same difference.. thot ma'am wud through a party 4 me call me home..n i wud meet her... tell her how i felt..n then... we wud be happily ever after..remember i was class 3 -4 mayb... Optimism?? day dreaming?? how does it matter..
now dont ask what happened..
acha ok..u can ask...
she was a little ..shud i say mean..she never threw a party 4 me.. :( i got those marks man...
no luck ... thats what u sayn na... consolation is also good..

but yeah...thr 1 thing..been happpily ever aftr since then...
many time..in btwn mush have had similar feelings.. these singin feelin... ekdum dil se...yeah..trust me...
but u know what..
once a batchelor..always a batchelor...

STOP TERRORISM..
STAY SINGLE .....


PS: all this above here is totally fictious..not an original work..some 1 hacked into here..n did all this...
believe at ur own risk...




.

loneliness...now i have breakfast everyday.. ;)

.

loneliness is a virtue..
4 some time now..esp since i have come back to the coll..
with not many ppl arround ...
lonliness acts like a discipline i guess..atleast 4 me..
u do things on time n r able to give more time to everything..suddenly u have more hours...
n ur work gets over faster... sighs..
things like breakfast which u had never done in 4 yrs...are a must now...so that u can kill some more time..at a different kind of activity..
workin out...n that too in the mornings... when at a time u didnt find the time to go gym...be it whatever hr of the day...
life if seen by 2nd person looks really organized...coz u spend time organizing it...
this.. the organizing part..in itself is such an activity..that u give it enuf time everyday...in my case even 2-3 times a day...meaning..everyday ...3 times i spend thinkin... what i have to do 2day..interesting... ;) kills a lot of time..
esp coz i ..like most guys...niormal guys have rissen frm the ashes of inorganization...total chaos was my style dude..
wud wear the same jeans every day 4 ..dunno when..
coz....didnt find another..n who wud ...whats the diff mate..this jeans or that..
both unwashed..
but yeah..lonliness has made me believe.. that its possible to live like most humans ..ie non nocturnal ppl..the daytime is not such a bad time...
n yeah work..u actually find time 4 work..n u put a lot of effort into it...
the other day...sittin the lab since 10 in the mornin..havn taken a brk only 4 lunch...at 7 i thot of takin a brk.u know..the worked all day ab i deserve a holiday type brk...
but me ..of all hardworkin ppl in the world..{ ppl close 2 me know that i wud do nything to just u know..stay away frm the smallest of works given 2 me...justification..doesnt interest me..y shud i do it.. :-p ..}
all d same..i ...was not able to leave it n go...no it was not that i was workin on something.. that wud revolutionize the world..of avert a world war.. simple...readin pprs n workin on a design..
cudnt ..coz..thr was nothin else to do..literally.. so ...work it was... :(
good 4 me i guess...
yeah u realize things..which otherwise only god himself cud have convinced u...
that.. in my case.. that i can work...phew.. :-o
n that too effectively u know..
ask me to plan anything ..whatever that b..i ll come up with the best of plans u know.. n options which will just all b real good...
may b real stupid also once in a while..
but the point is that i was never good at execution..
u c ny work can b divided into 2 parts...

plannin n execution...

the problem with the execution part is that..
it requires...what shud i say.. non-laziness as a virtue in u...n more importanly requires u to EXECUTE ur plan...
to execute requires to..work...that same word agn..
thats whr i wud u know.... sit back n like to c ppl work..mostly to draw inspiration...to work..but by the time i had enuf inspiration n was ready 4 perspiration..it was over..
so not entirey my fault at things...
but now things r diff...

u c..rite now also..work callin..gtg dudes.. ;)




.

impossible is nothing.....

.

4 yrs..what it does to some1...
when i think of this... i wud like 2 tell u abut this sweet fellow..
i find this guy totally changed..
what he was in 2003 is totally different frm what hes right now...
that guy who thot that all things in life r good ...does not exist nymore...some1 else exists...
down in 2003..he was u know...the guy who wud do nything 4 u...u just needed to ask..whoever u were...;was fond of makin as many frnds as possible...he understood..more frnds= more happiness...;
had this sense that he had to b a part of everything that was happening around..active..really active..i wud say...
the 1st yr it was... every day he wud find a new frnd.... guy was new in coll...freedom was new 2 him...n drowned him i wud say..
...trust was like an in built charecteristic of a person...he thot... if someones good 2 u on ur face..thats the way he is...
stupid wud u say..or naive..whatever...
thrs more abut this guy....
wanted 2 be noticed..b thr in the limelight... life was an oppurtunity...he wanted to make maximum of it...
then he found real kewl frnds u know...real ones..who were life for him...
coll meant them,...cudnt do without them...
things were lookin real rosy in life...well 4 the time being...
trust..faith..true blind devotion...
can sometimes b real bad...u gotta test..b4 u really get close to him..make him ur frnd...
...thats what he tells me now...
i believe..
but things became really messy slowly...
u must have heard.. "change is in-evitable.."

what he thot was his,...moved real away frm him...didnt know "who" were his so called close frnds...

might have been his fault also. uknow...too much of a crefree guy...did what his instincts told him..never put thot to the fact that the other person... was not likin him at that same time 4 it...but was keepin it to him..
it was real simple 4 him u know...if u didnt like something..u tell it...thats the wa it works.. well may b not...so he was happy that u were happy... wrong formulaes he used 4 life.... stupid...

his choices became 2 b called his bad decissions...that he shudnt do it...
this real close frnd of his once told him...real close i mean..4 something he wanted...n deserved..more than ny1...he wasnt worth it...n that this fellow didnt want r guy to have it..
n THAT was right. the fellow said...
y... coz the fellow felt so...felt real bad then...says he..
guy knew his frnd was wrong then n knows it now as well...but takes it in his stride now...
now knows not to take every other guy so serious...they r just talkin...
all d same...he lived along..still is a nice guy...

i guess the problem with the guy was that he always thot frm his heart..never used his mind... or shud i say brains... :P
always wanted to b the social guy..if he cud do nythins 4 u.....he d ....
1 more thing...this guy kind of played the clown sometimes..just to keep every1 around ..u know...cheerful...1 of his frnds told him 1ce that it was the reason y ppl didnt take him so seriously... he didnt think much abut it...wrong choice i guess...

now then ..when coll is over....every1s goin along his/her way...
he finds few who r his..ppl close to him..what we call frnds...thr r some real special...
in btwn thr was this gr8est thing in his life... went away as fast as it came...made him so much a happy man...frm the melancholy person that he had become...
he strted believin in self...felt real strong...
Brain adams 1 said...n we keep repeating it... "those were d best days of my life. :) :) "
2day he i guess understands ppl better ..i guess... knows more specifically what is to b done in life...
all dat glitters is not gold...
was this rehabilitation..lifes way to teach ..son u gotta understand...
u just cant n dont need to do everything 4 every1...thr r things u shud do n others u shudnt...n its not wrong ...

this guy..r frnd ... knows that he has it in him..to do what he wants...
to him.. impossible is nothing...
he just needs to know..which he incidently does... that he has to do it... :)

as i said.. " Impossible is nothing "

.